During briefing sessions with clients whose wedding event is near, one of the major areas I have noticed that the about-to-marry couples have a clash of choice is; who is going to be the chairman? One of the significant dignitaries in social events like weddings is the chairman. While some are of the opinion that there is no need for the top table, some still hold that a wedding reception chairman is essential. This post addresses questions that will help solve issues pertaining to picking event chairman. Without much ado, let’s dive straight.
Who provides the Chairman; Groom or Bride’s (family)?
It is customary for the Bride’s family to do so. There is no rigid law backing this as this is just a social event and there is little or nothing much attached to it. Another reason the Southwest believes the bride’s family should provide the reception chairman is that they feel that they are the ones hosting or receiving the groom’s family and their guests as visitors. However, in the event that the bride’s family could not provide anyone at that point in time of planning, the couple might be left with no choice to pick the chairman from the groom’s family. Kindly note that it is not compulsory that the chairman is a family member. The next line tells you who he could possibly be.
Must the chairman be a family member?
Whoever you’re choosing as your chairman must know you and your spouse at least to a greater extent. Never use a stranger for this purpose. Sometime also, parents might want to impose a certain person or family member due to their relationship with such a person. A few of their reasons are, the man or the woman is the one that they usually use for social event chairman, Mr. xoxoxo is the chairman of our cooperative society or the man is a respected member of our political party. When this is happening, be calm and create the time to talk things out. Picking a chairman should never cause disagreement of any kind during the planning stage for whatsoever reason. It is your wedding and not the chairman’s or your parents’.
Who then should fit most?
Somebody you or both of you know and that knows you or both of you. Too simple right? Yes, nothing really difficult. This could be your boss at work, a respected member of your place of worship, your then school or home lesson teacher, an elderly friend, a lecturer from your higher institution, a family or a parents’ friend that genuinely has your interest at heart. I won’t advise your own friend, clergyman or politician.
Furthermore, you need to pick someone you sincerely admire or whose home you would love to model your marriage after. A man or a woman of good reputation, unquestionable character. The age might not matter but some hold the belief that a middle-aged person, say between 30 and 40 years old cannot or should not stand before men and women of say between 45 and 60 years to talk about marriage to the newly married couple. Well, they are unaware that 1. It is not by age and 2. The responsibility of a wedding reception chairman is beyond advising the new couple of how to live together peacefully. I shall post the duties of a Wedding Event Chairman in my subsequent posts.
To further add, ensure the person you’re considering is a succinct, social and down-to-earth kind of person. People can hardly listen to someone they don’t like or who they have heard of his bad record. Money is good and very useful too. Your chairman is an automatic financing member and sponsor of your event. No matter how rich you are, the gift of money or financial assistance towards your wedding event is a huge relief. Don’t heap social responsibility on a financially broke man.
What if there is a clash of personalities?
To level with you, this is not uncommon. But from my experience, I have severally provided a solution for this type of scenario. Clash of personalities can occur when you have more than one person who fits into being the chairman. Or when your bride’s parents have one person, they want to honor him and your daddy insisted you use your boss as the chairman. See, this clash can come in diverse ways. What is paramount is to come to terms and understand that the event is just one day. Though this one day is so significant that it can determine the rest of one’s years in life.
And care must be taken never to offend anyone in this process of choosing who is who. My usual quick response to the client in a situation like this is to first of all relax and know that if there is no chairman, they’ll still be married. Next, streamline and filter out all those that you are considering using the aforementioned points and let it be just two persons. From there you then make one the chairman (elderly between the two) and make the other person the event governor. The chairman should be skilled to give an engaging remark or presentation. You may want to ask what an event governor does or what is he? Check here for my subsequent post or reach out to me if it is urgent.
An average about-to-marry couple often takes this area with levity. Please, as soon as you have resolved within the necessary parties of whom you are picking for the position of the event chairman, ensure you go ahead to notify the chairman in person. I’m assuming you have a healthy relationship with him, go ahead to let him know that you want him to honor your wedding ceremony by being the chairman during reception program. I’ll advise you to go with your spouse if possible, at least a bottle of wine and the invitation card. You could also do well by telling him why you are choosing him which could be anyone from among the reasons cited above. Carry him along in your planning especially if he shows good interest.
To sum up, among the personalities to be honored on your wedding day is the chairman. And not only that you want to honor him, you equally want him to honor you. Because there are lots of people who fit into this category, you find yourself in the dilemma of who best to choose. This post sheds insight on what and what to consider to choose a chairman. If you’re the man reading this, allow your wife to inquire within herself or from her parents first. If none, both of you can go ahead to thoughtfully choose.
The chosen person could be a family member or an outsider. Just make sure he/she knows you or both of you to a greater extent. Endeavor to consider a well-behaved personality, someone with a reputation and of moderate financial capacity. Should there more than one person that falls into this category as it supposed, you can make one a chairman and the other, the event governor. While the wedding reception chairman gives the welcome or opening remark, the event governor can conduct the cutting of the cake or propose the toast. And finally, having chosen, please notify them on time. Don’t fall victim to those who inform their chairman to be on the event day. I have seen it happen and you may guess, the couple was disappointed.